Broken cages, broken lungs, broken buns and one broken spirit. Alright a little explaining. Zephanie, our teammate broke one of her bottle cages today during the race but still managed a stellar result for cross country!!
Heather had her asthma kick in part way up the first climb exacerbated by the moon dusty and hot conditions. She ended up having to DNF choosing breathing over racing (smart girl).
Amanda had to bail off her bike in a steep section because the person in front of her crashed and she didn't want to be a part of a huge pile up. She was already behind the saddle in a steep section when it happened and she had to thrust her bike forward, landing directly on her tailbone. Yeow - ouch!
As for me I had no excuses for doing as poorly as I did. My legs actually felt good believe it or not but I was as flat as a pancake and suffered badly on the last to laps. It was the hardest day in the saddle for me in a long time. Probably had the worst day on my bike in many years today actually. But no crashes or anything like that for me so that is good. Just a hard day in the saddle. It is a tough pill to swallow for sure but I am getting used to those these days it seems like. It is hard to race when you suck so bad and know that you are capable of SO MUCH MORE because you have proved it before!
I have to accept where I am in my life right now and accept that there are things going on that are completely out of my control. But man, a girl can only be so dang tough you know? I feel like it is all starting to wear on me (putting up a "I am all good" front at the races all the time). It is so hard to compartmentalize and that is what I need to do and have been doing since November 08 but it is starting to not work!!
I just need to try and control what I can control which includes my mental game. There is certainly nothing easy about what I am trying to accomplish right now with all that is going on. But I still love what I do and I don't want to stop!
And what is up with getting a side stitch during the race? I have never had that before!!! My body even revolted right after the finish when I had my recovery drink. I immediately got so sick to my stomach which lasted for at least an hour after I drank it. I am falling apart mentally and physically and I need to figure out what I am going to do about it because things cannot go on like this!
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