Tuesday, January 20, 2009

I Feel Sick

So much for the "Parents Update" that I just got posted. I just got a call that my mom is in the hospital in Hawaii. I seriously cannot handle much more at the moment. I feel like bursting into tears although I just did. The worst part was that I wanted to call my dad and get comfort but I can't for reasons in the last post. That pretty much sucks really bad. I feel alone with a big problem. At least I have a wonderful and extremely caring brother up in WA that I can talk to. Without him right now to bounce my feelings off of, I would be in an extreme world of hurt.

My parents are getting old and have a fair amount of problems that they are dealing with and the bottom line is that I am going to lose them some day. And sometimes that day just seems moments away. This is one of those days. I feel sick right now and am shaking. I am writing because I hoped it would help but the anxiety I am feeling right now is overwhelming.

As much as I hate to say it, about 5 days into this new year of 2009 I still had high hopes for a new year with just hoping for healthier situations. Last year I broke all the bones I could, my mom got sick, dad had more strokes, I had friends that got cancer - some survived, some didn't and some are still fighting to this very moment. But about 5 days into this new year I kind of got a little worried about my hopes for a "new" year after a friend had a stroke (thankfully he was not debilitated in any way) and then got word of a co-worker that needed a heart transplant. Ok, ok, I thought to myself I can do this. Its not super bad yet. 09 is ok still.

Then about 4 days ago Chris's Aunt has a bad fall, breaks her ankle and has to have a rod put in her ankle. Ok, she is alive and well and is now in a rehab unit until she can walk and do things on her own again. She is being well cared for. And I think, I can do this one too although I feel really bad for what she is going through - been there/done that....almost. I also think, ok, that was the 3rd thing to happen. Maybe we are done? Maybe?? Just maybe??

Nope, yesterday my cousin got clocked hard by an out of control skier and had to be taken to the ER in Salt Lake City. She suffered head and leg injuries.

And now this morning I get the call about my sweet and beloved mom.

I am still shaking darn it. I was hoping that writing this would work. Oh well.

What can you readers do to help? If you haven't called your parents and you are able, will you please think about calling them right now? It is that moment you can't that is just gut wrenching so take the time too do that if possible. For those that can't, just call a loved one. Someone that means everything to you. You don't know when they won't be there to answer your call.

That is all I ask aside for some prayers please too.


Rhonda said...

Kathy Im so sorry. Please know that Im praying for you and your family.


Hi Rhonda,

That means a lot. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

I was in smith's yesterday looking at oreos. And I started to cry because Mum used to have mint oreos for me every time I was home. She knew they were my favorite.
I wish I could say something bright and cheery. All I can do is tell you I understand and will cry with you.

Art said...

Sorry your family is having to deal with this. I know too well the feelings of helplessness that come with having a family memeber being so far away and so sick.

Sending as much positive energy as I can your parents way.

Nick in Boulder said...

thoughts are with you, be strong!

Ruth and Troy said...

Hey Kathy, Ruthy and Troy are thinking of you. Life works in strange ways but never lose faith. Take care :)

flahute said...

I've not checked in for awhile, and I wish I had ... I'm really sorry to hear about your parents, and can only hope that in the intervening few days since your last post that your mother is doing better.

Sending as many positive vibes in all directions that I can; to Heber, to Washington, and to Hawaii.