The doctors have all agreed that mom's body is shutting down. Every time they do something to help, she has some sort of reaction to it. They have tried everything too.
It is time and mom agrees. We are now done with pills, doctors and IV's and mom was VERY capable of making that decision on her own yesterday about this. It was a very difficult conversation to have with her. We have to be grateful for her knowing exactly what she wants right now.
She has clearly stated she wants to go home so with the support of hospice and my brother we will see mom through what looks like will be her last days on this planet. She will get home today. It is where she wants and deserves to be.
I am scared.
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14 comments:
It's OK to be scared! Your mom, husband and everyone who knows you, know how really strong you are.
Drew
(Triathlete who lost a few digits last year - we met at TOSH).
Hey Drew!! I have been wondering how are doing and glad you found me here! How did hand therapy work out for you? Did you do that race you wanted to do too?
Kathy,
All's good! We just got back from Ironman Canada this week where I almost had a stellar race. It was hot and humid (ugh) and I equalled my second best time in the swim with my modified hand.So magic woman Megan did her job superbly. However, my training went so well, I went out wayyyyyyyyyyto fast on the bike and had to bag the marathon at mile 4 due to heat exhaustion aka serious bonk! It was the first time I had not been able to finish. Disappointed, but I'm over it and next year will be a banner race!
BTW, I hope to see on the cross course this year. I have Isaac at Jan's putting on the final touches to my first cross bike ever. Should be fun. Hope to see you out there.
Hang tough and best wishes from Carolyn and me.
Drew
Hospice made Mum and my brother Jimmie's life 100% easier. You're doing a great thing!
Scared is ok. It will make the rest of your life journey's look simple.
It can be so hard to let go, I guess all we can do is respect our parent's wishes. God Bless you, you are in my prayers.
Kathy you are so strong!God will bless you for your commitment to your parents. I wish I were there to give you a HUGE hug from your "big sis" Love you loads, Lisa
I have followed your career and admired you from a distance for some time now. As an East Coast friend of Mother Theresa's I can only say that I understand what you are going through (having done this four times now). You are correct about your friends, they help a lot,our thoughts and support here on the east coast are with you also, so hang in there.
Johnny & Mrs. Tsunami
Wow what a difficult journey but it will make you stronger! Peace and Courage to you!
Ys, it's OK to be scared and don't worry about being strong; that will miraculously happen every time you need it. God is watching out for your mom and you. You are doing something truly wonderful for your mom and she will continue to live in your heart and thank you throughout eternity. Crying us OK, that's what we do to release or built up emotions. I do know somewhat how you feel and my love is with you.
I hope everything is going okay for you right now. Life can be incredibly hard sometimes, but you will get through this and your mom will be so happy when she no longer has to suffer. I wish you the very best.
Hi Kathy,
Just catching up on blogs. I am so sorry for everything you are going through!! Todd and I are thinking of you and your family.
I don't know you, but stumbled on your blog today. I, too, had to watch my mother let go of the pain. She died of cancer and fought it for as long as she could. You will never, ever regret this time you are spending with her, caring for her...as I'm sure she did for you for many years of her life. It's a wonderful gift you are giving to your mother. When you watch her pass from this life to the next, you will feel like your heart is being ripped from your chest...BUT find peace that she is well and happy...no longer in pain. My mom has been gone for 5 years and it still hurts...but it does get easier. Praying for you and your family.
Hey, I stumbled upon your blog and just wanted to say that I understand your pain and frustration with your mom. My father in law just passed away after a long battle with congestive heart failure and he did hospice with turned out to be a blessing. He is not in pain anymore and we know it was the right thing to do. Be strong and live for the moment... You both will be in my prayers.
So I k=ind of caught a bit of this in the conversation you were having in Heber today. A tough thing to go through no doubt. I traveled that path last year when my dad passed. I unfortunately never got to see him coherent and cognizant in his last days... Very sad. It's good t see that you are able to continue racing and focus on positive things.
Anyway on a positive note, since I found your blog, here are some links to follow up on. My blog, mostly photos and links to Pbase galleries, http://fredmarx.wordpress.com/. Relevant Pbase galleries: http://www.pbase.com/prinothcat/cross. Anything you want to use for your personal promotion please let me know. Velo Bella is already getting it as I mentioned today. See you at the races.
Chris
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