Monday, January 18, 2010

You Can Run But U Can't Hide

Holy heck have I been so so so so so sick. I can't believe it. Never ever have I EVER felt as horrible as I had in the last month. Yes, month. I came down with what just seemed like a head cold 2 days after getting back from Cyclocross Nationals (in December!!!!). I tried to train through it a little and it actually seemed to be getting better by Christmas, 10 days later!!! But that is when my body said "enough already, why don't you seem to take the freakin' hint" and overnight it threw me into a tailspin of hot and cold sweats, a fever of 102 and I was in so much pain that I couldn't even roll over without cringing.

I literally drug myself into the doctor the next morning. It took me an hour to get ready because I would put on my socks and have to take a 15 minute rest, brush my teeth, 15 minute rest, etc. It was awful. I still DO NOT know how I drove myself up to Park City in that kind of pain and misery. It was terrible.

They figure it was strep even though that test came back negative. But I had rec'd both a flu shot and an H1N1 shot months earlier so that was ruled out but still could have been a different strain of the flu of course. Got some antibiotics and off I went to fight it. Thanks heavens I am better now because there were certainly times there that I thought I was never ever going to get rid of it.

And now looking back on it, being sick is likely what got me through my first Christmas without my parents. I was home alone the entire day and I didn't care. I was so sick. Even if I had wanted to cry I don't think I would have let myself because it would have added to my misery!

Being sick did allow me to get my life back in order some. I kind of forgot that I have one to maintain too after dealing with the parents estate and all the rest (which we are still dealing with big time). I did manage to see my moms best friend who could not make her Celebration of Life but was in Utah for Christmas. That was a nice but sad affair. It was hard to not start balling the moment I saw her. That said, I did manage to squeeze in some time with friends here and there for the holidays despite missing a fair share of fun as well.

Being sick this whole time I am pretty sure was my bodies way of politely telling me that I can run but I can't hide from all that I have been through. I think this was more than just being sick since I was able to get through the death of 2 parents, training, racing, and traveling all without getting sick AT ALL. I had been going going going since September physically and emotionally and my body was DONE with a capital D.

It had to happen some time I guess. Prior to my parents deaths I was told that people always have to go through a down period to renew, refresh and regenerate after losing loved ones. And even if they try hard to NOT do that the body always comes back to get you to do it. I wasn't trying to get around it, I was just going going going because those were the plans but my body definitely got the last say in that!!

So I am happy to say that I took my last antibiotic this last weekend after being on them for 3 whole weeks and now I need to get my body back in action. I am sure the rest did me some good as trying to add to my fitness while my body was down like that, was not a good idea anyway.

I am now VERY RESTED in all aspects which I apparently needed and can start adding to that. It is nice to be at it again!

1 comment:

flahute said...

So glad to read that you're feeling better ... and looking forward to seeing you back at full strength this season, kicking ass all over the NMBS (or whatever it's called these days) and then in CX this fall.