Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Cast Off

I didn't think I was going to miss holding things like this:

And like this:

But in a strange way I kind of do.......

No one really told me what exactly to expect once my cast came off. I had some idea but didn't really have any visuals yet in my head which is how I like to operate.

So when the cast came off I immediately looked at my hand and about fell off the chair.

I have NO thumb pad anymore on my left hand. It is flat and gross and wrinkly and callused and looks like an old man hand - all from sitting unused in the cast for 5 weeks. So disgusting. Atrophy is not a great thing.

They let me wash my hand which was AWESOME because I haven't been able to do that in 5 weeks. I pretty much ran up the doctors water bill because I couldn't get enough of washing it.

So yeah, I guess it is nice having the cast off and all but I have got to say that I am not real sure how I really feel about it at this point. I mean....it IS nice like I said but now there is just whole new set of issues to deal with in my head, just as I was getting used to the cast and all. I know .....weird hugh? But I got comfortable in it I guess.

So now I am in a splint that I had made in the SoBe/Cannondale Team colors. But when the cast was off (before the splint was made) my thumb didn't even feel like part of me. It felt like a sausage sticking off on my hand with no real feeling in it (although there was feeling it was just de-sensitized).

In fact, the guy tried to leave after taking the cast off and I begged him to come back in to talk to me because I was freaking out a bit. He said he felt the same way with his LEG (if you can even imagine) after he had it immobilized for months. He said it took some time to feel as though he "owned it". I understand completely because right now my thumb just feels like its just simply hanging out with no purpose and that it doesn't really belong to me. Oooooh yuck!

They say it all will come back quickly but I don't start hand therapy until it's totally healed. So more atrophy I guess for me. Oh joy. On that note, my x-rays say things are healing up as well as they can but that it is not totally healed yet. You could still see the space between the bones.

The doctor did give me the go ahead to try and race on it this weekend and I am going to do just that. In the meantime I am trying to use it some on a very limited basis just to get it going again and make it alive again. Of course, I will be racing on it too so that will wake her up!


g.g. said...

I know what you mean...i just got my cast off and am in a removable splint....my arm doesnt feel like it belongs to me. your post summed up everything i have been feeling!


I am sorry to hear you are in the same boat right now. It's not fun but hang in there, it does only seem to get better!